Jeez people get a grip and lighten up: this music video for Bitch I’m Madonna is actually quite amusing. And no one has ever accused Madonna of having a noticeable sense of humour before.
Even before those of us who haven’t signed up for Tidal (which is, well, pretty much everyone except Kanye’s entourage and that sad bloke down the street who spends his day waiting for alerts about Katy Perry cleavage shots) had seen the music video for one of the lesser tracks on Madonna’s current album there were declarations.
There was moralising: ooh, she’s singing about drinking and screwing (of bottle tops, but we know what she really means don’t we?) and kissing people. Like more than one – hussy!
There was sexism: probably had it written by a bloke, she hasn’t had an idea herself since 1982, she’s the plaything of producers etc etc.
There was ageism: the woman is past 50, she can’t be dancing and partying and singing about dancing and partying. Isn’t there a cardigan to knit? Hey, grandma leave those kids alone.
There was literalism: yes, we know you’re Madonna already and who are you calling bitch, bitch?
And there was music-ism: eeww, dance music, pop music – can’t be any good. Plus it’s got that Nicki Melange, or Ricki Hijab or whatever, rapping like this was a hippity hoppity thing. Dude, where’s my guitar solo??!!
So what happens when you set aside the whys and wherefores of Tidal (a streaming service set up by megastars with a legitimate grievance but amazingly bad sense of public perceptions) and just watch the clip?
Two words for you: sock puppets. Yep, fluoro sock puppets. Fluoro sock puppets “singing”. No one makes a music video with sock puppets and says this is serious, mum.
Add in the bits where Madonna, in her animal print dress and none-more-glitter pink jacket is working some weights next to a posse of Like A Virgin-era, pre-teen Mini-Mes, squirts water on a studly, open-shirt cop, shakes her boobs at the camera, throws a drink down the throat of a bloke at the bar and is always surrounded by parody-level cool folk in every shade of look-at-me party wear and it’s so OTT it can only be good craic.
In this context the lyrics, which sound so try-hard on the album, come across as self-mockery and funnier than the skinny Japanese girls fighting in the bubble bath look. And the celebrity cameos – from Chris Rock to Beyonce with stopovers at Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry – are less needy and more in-joke, like the self-referential solo dance-off that ends with Madonna crashed to the floor gasping for air.
Looks like Madonna isn’t just having fun here but doing that rare thing for a filmclip, making an OK song far more listenable and enjoyable. You don’t have to like the song, or her, to at least see that. But you do need to get off your high horse.
Source : Smh.com